How many times have you gone to someone in the program feeling angry and the advice you get is to turn it over?
Anger - that "dubious luxury of normal men" - is destructive, a sign that you aren't emotionally sober, mature something we must transcend in order to grow spiritually.
I don't know who needs to hear it, but I’m here to say: Anger can be a powerful tool for healing and transformation, especially for women in long-term sobriety.
Anger is not inherently bad. It’s a natural response to feeling disempowered, unheard, or oppressed. And as women who have navigated addiction and recovery, your anger is a signal — a sign that something in your life or in the world is not right.
Too often, society teaches us to suppress our anger, especially women. We’re told that it’s too much, too loud, or too dangerous. But what if you could engage your anger as a force for good, a source of clarity and strength?
For many of us in recovery, anger has been buried under layers of shame, guilt, and the belief that we need to be “good” in order to deserve love or belonging.
But what if you didn’t need to earn love? Could you be angry and loved?
What if you simply embraced your anger as a part of your full humanity, using it as a tool to speak out, to set boundaries, to stand up for yourself?
Try this next time you feel angry. Pause. Put a hand on your heart and simply say "I am here. I am listening. What do you need me to hear?"
And then just listen.
What comes up? Did someone hurt your feelings? Was a boundary crossed? Have you abandoned yourself? Is there an injustice in the world you can no longer tolerate?
I know that for many women in sobriety, anger feels like a dangerous or even forbidden emotion. But I want to really challenge you here: What if your anger is the key to unlocking your deepest sense of freedom? What if embracing it fully — without shame or judgment — allows you to heal and move forward on your path?
When we stop judging our anger as something we must run from and start listening to what it has to say, we begin to access a deep well of wisdom. Anger becomes a guide, showing us where we’ve been hurt, where we’ve been silenced, and where we need to make a change.
But that's not all. Wanna hear the best part?
We begin to see ourselves not as bad, or stuck, or emotionally off the beam heading for a drink - but as trustworthy beings endowed with an internal compass always guiding us.
In this way, anger becomes an ally, guiding us toward the freedom and empowerment that we were destined to experience.
The truth is, if we keep pushing our anger away, we only suppress the very energy we need to change our lives.
So I ask you: How can you honor your anger, your fear, your sadness as a source of wisdom and strength? Can you allow it to guide you toward the truth of who you are and what you need?
It’s time to stop turning away from the very feelings that are here to set us free.
If you want to know more about how to take this journey with support, guidance and reverence schedule a discovery call.
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